


This is Where They Went Wrong

by LoserEddie



Category: The Producers (2005)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Group chat, Modern, can you believe franz is the token cishet of the group, chatroom, ulla's gettin a GF!!!!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:00:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22842154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoserEddie/pseuds/LoserEddie
Summary: Group chat for all the Producers characters! Leo is so tired of this bullshit, and everybody can simultaneously agree that Ulla is the best part of their friend group.
Relationships: Max Bialystock/Leopold "Leo" Bloom, Roger De Bris/Carmen Ghia
Comments: 8
Kudos: 13





	1. Username Crisis

**Author's Note:**

> kingofbway - max  
> #1director - roger  
> theatregay(tm) - carmen  
> bitch/the reason i hate germany/liebkinnie - franz  
> stpthewrld/theultimatebitch - leo  
> ulla!!! - ulla

8 PM

kingofbway has added #1director, theatregay(tm), bitch, stpthewrld, and ulla!!! to the chat  
kingofbway has changed the chat name to "we do NOT stan franz liebkind"  
stpthewrld: max be nice  
bitch: I didn't even do anything to deserve this this time?!?!  
bitch: also why's my username "bitch".  
kingofbway: idk that's actually so weird  
kingofbway: omg  
kingofbway: LEO!!!!!!  
stpthewrld: yes max??  
kingofbway: WHY WOULD YOU CHANGE FRANZ' USERNAME THAT IS SO RUDE  
stpthewrld: .  
stpthewrld: max I saw you change it a few minutes ago??  
kingofbway: how.  
kingofbway: DARE YOU!!!!!!  
kingofbway: I let you into my home, I give you confidence,,, AND YOU ASSAULT ME  
stpthewrld: BUT I???? WH  
#1director: I saw you change it too, to be fair  
kingofbway: shut up roger  
theatregay(tm): EXCUSE ME?????  
kingofbway: WELL ANYWAY!!!!! LET'S GET BACK ON THE SUBJECT AT HAND  
kingofbway: franz your username was literally just "franz liebkind" that's so boring I had to change it  
bitch: ..so is Ulla's? why aren't we attacking her?  
#1director: HEY  
stpthewrld: WOAH  
theatregay(tm): OH MY GOD FRANZ  
kingofbway: DONT INSULT ULLA LIKE THAT??? THIS IS WHY WE CALL YOU A BITCH!!!!!!!  
ulla!!!: Hi! :)  
#1director: we love you queen  
ulla!!!!: !! I love you too <3 !!  
kingofbway: you're all horrible at staying focused jesus Christ  
kingofbway has changed "bitch"s username to "the reason I hate germany"  
stpthewrld: MAX  
stpthewrld has changed "the reason I hate germany"s username to "liebkinnie"  
stpthewrld: can we all agree on that?  
#1director: yes thank you  
stpthewrld: aw youre welcome. I like being appreciated in here  
kingofbway: ARE YOU SAYING I DONT APPRECIATE YOU ENOUGH????  
kingofbway has changed "stpthewrld"s username to "the ultimate bitch"  
theatregay(tm): this is going terribly so far


	2. Midnight Bonding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo and Roger have a conversation when neither can sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT STARTS OFF ANGSTY BUT I PROMISE IT ENDS MUCH BETTER!!!
> 
> stpthewrld - leo  
> #1director - roger  
> theatregay(tm) - carmen  
> kingofbway - max

4 AM

stpthewrld: hey uh  
stpthewrld: are you guys awake  
stpthewrld: you can go back to sleep if this woke you up I mean I don't wanna like  
stpthewrld: interrupt your rest???  
#1director: im up! how are you, leopold?  
stpthewrld: oh im fine. just cant sleep so  
#1director: why??  
stpthewrld: haha youd think its stupid and I have no reason to complain yknow  
#1director: no, seriously, whats up?  
stpthewrld: idk  
stpthewrld: it doesn't matter  
stpthewrld: but uhh  
stpthewrld: how are you?  
#1director: im good  
#1director: just took puck on a walk. now im watching tv  
stpthewrld: youre watching mamma mia aren't you  
#1director: here we go again  
stpthewrld: my my  
#1director: I saw meryl streep on the cover and I couldn't resist  
stpthewrld: its the lgbt curse  
#1director: it rly is  
stpthewrld: id watch something but if i even make the floor creak max wakes up and starts complaining about all the noise  
#1director: so hes a baby  
stpthewrld: yeah basically  
stpthewrld: hes my baby tho!!!  
#1director: ive taught you so well,,,,  
stpthewrld: im a fast learner what can i say  
stpthewrld: and hows carmen?  
theatregay(tm): well you know what i WOULD be sleeping if it weren't for the fact roger is BLARING MAMMA MIA AT FOUR IN THE FUCKING MORNING  
theatregay(tm): our apartment may be big but apparently NOT BIG ENOUGH  
#1director: JUST ONE LOOK  
stpthewrld: AND I CAN HEAR A BELL RING  
#1director: ONE MORE LOOK  
stpthewrld: AND I FORGET EVERYTHING  
#1director: WOAAAAAH  
theatregay(tm): beautiful performance why don't you perform it for everyone TOMORROW MORNING !!!!!  
stpthewrld: it technically is morning, carmen. no offense  
theatregay(tm): i  
theatregay(tm) im going to bed. goodnight. love you roger  
#1director: love you!!!! <33333 sleep well king  
stpthewrld: you aren't turning it down are you  
#1director: no chance in hell  
#1director: eventually you learn to not care in the slightest about your partner getting mad because chances are if it gets too bad they'll just yeet outta there  
stpthewrld: haha. this bitch empty  
stpthewrld: you have more balls than i could ever have  
#1director: well,, i mean,,  
stpthewrld: we are NOT talking about your dick  
#1director: cries  
stpthewrld: wait what  
stpthewrld: are you okay  
stpthewrld: IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN IT  
#1director: leo i am kidding i  
stpthewrld: .  
stpthewrld: omw to beat your ass  
#1director: kinky!  
stpthewrld: SLFNVLDVAKJSFLVN  
#1director: OH SO UR A BOTTOM????  
stpthewrld: I HATE YOU !!!!!  
stpthewrld: BULLIES U !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
#1director: seriously you should come over though im BORED  
#1director: puck isn't very good company he just barks if i yell too loud  
stpthewrld: I WILL NO CAP!!! if i can get out of bed without max noticing  
kingofbway: SPEAK OF THE DEVIL  
stpthewrld: AAAAAAAAAAAA  
#1director: AAAAAAAAAAAA  
kingofbway: LEO WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING YOU SAW ME GET UP????  
stpthewrld: i wanted to express my initial panic through text  
kingofbway: oh okay checks out  
kingofbway: but yeah go to rogers i don't mind  
stpthewrld: wait really you don't?  
kingofbway: ? no????? go ahead lol  
#1director: IM GETTING THE CATS DVD FROM MY MOVIE SHELF AS WE SPEAK  
stpthewrld: OMW!!!!! party time!! sorry max you aren't invited  
stpthewrld: that's a joke btw pls don't be mad  
kingofbway: ik  
kingofbway: gnight  
#1director: night!  
stpthewrld: goodnight! <3  
#1director: ...  
#1director: is he gone  
stpthewrld: yes  
#1director: i ordered doordash mcdonalds  
stpthewrld: chicken nuggets and fries?  
#1director: duh  
stpthewrld: honestly id have an affair with you  
#1director: WHO WOULDNT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leo and roger friendship is canon sorry yall


	3. The One About Sonic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max and Carmen can bond over one thing: assigning everyone Sonic characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why are they like this?? who knows
> 
> kingofbway - max  
> ulla!!! - ulla  
> stpthewrld - leo  
> theatregay(tm) - carmen  
> liebkinnie - franz  
> #1director - roger

10 AM

kingofbway: thinkin bout,,,,, him,,,,,,  
ulla!!!: Who?  
kingofbway sent sexysonic.gif  
ulla!!!: Oh.  
ulla!!!: That's not Leo.  
kingofbway: leo could NEVER !!!  
ulla!!!: That's not very nice :(  
kingofbway: NO IM KIDDING I LOVE HIM but if sonic is single,,, we putting a hall pass in the relationship. have you SEEN sonic?? HE WORKS OUT  
stpthewrld: honestly? im NOT okay with that!! and maybe we shouldn't talk about this!!  
theatregay(tm): no no i think hes onto something  
kingofbway: he obviously has strong legs,, can you imagine those THIGHS???  
stpthewrld: PLEASE SAY SIKE  
kingofbway: AND HE CAN ROLL HIMSELF UP INTO A BALL!!! GET YOU A MAN WITH SKILLS  
stpthewrld: I HATE THIS  
kingofbway: i mean if i get sonic you get tails  
stpthewrld: okay thatll make me reconsider  
ulla!!!: Who do I get?  
stpthewrld: amy?  
theatregay(tm): NO NOT AMY  
theatregay(tm): the bat  
kingofbway sent winkingemoji.png  
kingofbway: her?  
theatregay(tm): YES HER  
theatregay(tm): youd get along with her ulla  
ulla!!!: She looks nice! :)  
stpthewrld: WHY ARE WE NOT QUESTIONING THE FILE NAME???  
ulla!!!: :O We should all be assigned these cartoons! That'd be fun!  
kingofbway: YOU DONT HAVE TO ASK ME TWICE  
ulla!!!: Then I won't!  
kingofbway: thanks  
kingofbway: WHO GOES FIRST  
liebkinnie: I will.  
kingofbway: jet  
theatregay(tm): nobody LIKES jet  
kingofbway: EXACTLY MY POINT  
liebkinnie: what kind of name is Jet?!!  
kingofbway: yeah, THATS what concerns you most. whos next??  
#1director: hewwody  
kingofbway: doctor eggman. get the fuck out of my sight  
#1director: uwu  
theatregay(tm): i cant even defend you on this one  
theatregay(tm): WAIT SHIT ASSIGN ME  
kingofbway: uhhh  
kingofbway: knuckles  
theatregay(tm): WAHOO!!!! i love this for me  
stpthewrld: i, for one, hated this ENTIRE conversation, and i will literally do anything to change it  
stpthewrld: WOAH MAX LOOK OUT THE WINDOW THERES A HOT GIRL  
stpthewrld: HE ACTUALLY DID IT???  
kingofbway: YOU LIED!!! I GOT MY HOPES UP!!!!! THIS IS ULTIMATE BETRAYAL  
liebkinnie: like when he left you in a jail cell to go to rio?  
#1director: jesus that was a low blow  
ulla!!!: That was a fun trip! No offense, Max. When I got to the office, I found Leo stuck on a coat hanger xD  
ulla! sent leopoldb1.png  
stpthewrld: i cant help it im short  
#1director: AWWWW HES BABY  
theatregay(tm): YOURE SO SMALL !!!!  
liebkinnie: I could literally crush you ?! Aw.  
kingofbway: SHARING A BED WITH HIM IS FANTASTIC HE DOESNT TAKE UP ANY ROOM  
stpthewrld: ok this is bullying  
#1director: HES SO TINY,,, WHY CANT I HAVE A SHORT BOYFRIEND  
theatregay(tm): you ARE the short boyfriend  
#1director has left the chat.  
stpthewrld: KALJVLSDFVSDGV  
kingofbway: BOTTOM  
ulla!: Bottom!  
liebkinnie: BOTTOM.  
theatregay(tm): BOTTOM  
theatregay(tm) has invited #1director to the chat.  
#1director: BOTTOM  
stpthewrld: why are you guys like this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear leo is going to start crying over the bottom jokes one of these days


	4. Leo Can't Catch a Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like the title suggests, no matter how hard Leo tries, there's always something for the others to laugh about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just let him REST
> 
> stpthewrld - leo  
> kingofbway - max  
> ulla!!! - ulla  
> theatregay(tm) - carmen  
> #1director - roger

3 PM

stpthewrld sent ripfranz.jpeg  
kingofbway: oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead  
ulla!!!: Is he okay? <:(  
theatregay(tm): don't worry he's just sleeping on the roof. he does that.   
#1director: haha fiddler moment  
#1director: oh and  
#1director: we bought him a house but apparently that's not good enough for his EXPENSIVE tastes  
theatregay(tm): very disrespectful  
theatregay(tm): he likes being around his LiEbLiNgS. i swear theyre gonna peck his eyes out and i want a video when that happens  
#1director: id watch that  
theatregay(tm): also are we not questioning hes asleep at 3 pm  
kingofbway: we've all been there!  
stpthewrld: no, max, only YOUVE been there  
kingofbway: and now, so has franz!   
stpthewrld: that's not very healthy. im gonna wake him up  
kingofbway: wake him up and im kicking you out of the house  
stpthewrld: wait really??  
kingofbway: ,,,yes  
#1director: hes kidding  
stpthewrld: good because franz is awake  
kingofbway: PACK YOUR BAGS  
stpthewrld: NO!!!!!  
stpthewrld: im telling franz youre bullying me  
stpthewrld: he thinks im cute so  
kingofbway: YOU HAVE A BABY FACE I CANT FIGHT AGAINST THAT  
stpthewrld: IM FUCKING BABY !!!!!!  
#1director: hes,,,,  
#1director: BABYYYYYYY!!!!!!!  
stpthewrld: this is why i love roger more than anyone in this group chat other than ulla  
ulla!!!: I love you too, Leo! <3  
stpthewrld: <3333  
kingofbway: ,,,leo im your BOYFRIEND  
stpthewrld: ok and  
#1director: IM LOVING THE CONFIDENCE  
theatregay(tm): POP OFF KING!!!  
kingofbway: i cant even make a snide comment that was fantastic   
stpthewrld: thank you!!  
stpthewrld: anyway  
stpthewrld: franz is definitely awake. and im pretty sure he can see those top messages   
stpthewrld: and you know what he has?  
stpthewrld: ANGER ISSUES.  
#1director: oh god oh fuck oh god oh f  
theatregay(tm): WE LIVE IN THE SAME APARTMENT BUILDING AS HIM  
#1director: OH GOD OH FUCK  
kingofbway: KJDSLBVDG OH MY GOD YOURE DEAD   
#1director: ill get puck to attack him its fine  
theatregay(tm): puck would just watch him kill us he'd be OVERJOYED  
stpthewrld: OH SO MAX CAN KEYBOARD SMASH AND NOBODY CALLS HIM A BOTTOM???  
#1director sent silencebottom.png  
kingofbway sent leo46.png  
theatregay(tm): HES LOOKING AT HIS PHONE SO SADLY OH MY GODDFVNJDFSL  
#1director: that's the look of a man that has already died inside and we're to blame  
theatregay(tm): im proud of us


	5. Oh my fuckin god he fuckin dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's one thing for certain: Max has NO idea what he's doing, especially when it concerns other people's safety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you know that until its stated leo is healed up hes probably just gonna have a broken ankle this entire time
> 
> kingofbway - max  
> #1director - roger  
> ulla!!! - ulla  
> liebkinnie - franz

5 PM

kingofbway: does anyone know how to fix a broken ankle  
#1director: leo isn't online to say it so i guess it's my turn  
#1director: max, what the hell did you do this time?  
kingofbway: LEO'S THE ONE WITH A BROKEN ANKLE ASSHOLE!!  
ulla!!!: Did you attack him?  
kingofbway: WH??? NO  
kingofbway: I JUST TRIPPED HIM AS A JOKE AND NOW HES ON THE FLOOR CRYING???  
kingofbway: i tried snapping it back into place but  
kingofbway: uh  
#1director: max.  
#1director: what happened.  
#1director: WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU TRIED TO FIX HIS ANKLE  
kingofbway: i turned it the wrong way  
#1director: WHAT  
kingofbway: i think i might just amputate it  
#1director: DONT AMPUTATE HIS FUCKING ANKLE JESUS CHRIST BIALYSTOCK  
kingofbway: HE'D PROBABLY FEEL BETTER  
#1director: YEAH BECAUSE HE'D BE DEAD  
kingofbway: .  
kingofbway: he'd be in a better place???  
#1director: CALL AN AMBULANCE????  
kingofbway: but i dont wanna pay for that!!  
#1director: YOU CAN HANDLE PAYING FOR YOUR BOYFRIENDS MEDICAL BILLS  
#1director: YOURE A BROADWAY PRODUCER YOU HAVE THE MONEY  
kingofbway: yeah but i like SAVING it!  
#1director: you make me want to commit toaster water  
kingofbway: please do  
liebkinnie: why don't you just knock him out? then he'd be in less pain  
kingofbway: FRANZ YOURE A GENIUS  
#1director NO HE IS NOT  
#1director: GET LEO TO A HOSPITAL YOU STUPID BITCH???  
kingofbway: FINE FINE  
kingofbway: i guess ill just have to,, drag him down the stairs,, and have both of us in so much discomfort,, because im all alone  
kingofbway: woe is me,,,,,,,  
kingofbway: boohoo,,,,,,,  
kingofbway: can somebody take the damn hint  
#1director: dear god im on my way  
kingofbway: thanks boo! <333


	6. Late Night Messages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Max discuss something in private.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OUR FIRST DM!! I try to limit them, since the group chat is MUCH funnier.
> 
> theatregay(tm) - carmen  
> kingofbway - max

10 PM

DM BETWEEN "kingofbway" AND "theatregay(tm)"

theatregay(tm): hows leo?  
kingofbway: well his ankle is gonna take a lil while to heal but he'll survive  
theatregay(tm): right  
theatregay(tm): so max  
theatregay: bialystock  
theatregay(tm): maximus, maxwell, maxine, whatever your full name is  
theatregay(tm): how long have you been with leo  
kingofbway: a good while,,, why???  
theatregay(tm): well you know when a man loves another man very much, and cant exactly have kids,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,  
kingofbway: dont say it  
theatregay(tm): MAX,,,  
kingofbway: NO!!!!! HE'D SAY NO!!!!  
theatregay(tm): NO HE WOULDNT?? CMON YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO  
kingofbway: IM NOT RISKING MY DIGNITY ARE YOU KIDDING?????  
theatregay(tm): MAX  
theatregay(tm): max  
theatregay(tm): just hear me out  
theatregay(tm): i felt the exact same way when i did it!!  
theatregay(tm): but he obviously loves you!!!  
kingofbway: what if we're not READY yet, i dont wanna ruin what we have!  
theatregay(tm): max that poor kid would die for you hes not going ANYWHERE  
kingofbway: really?  
kingofbway: remember rio?  
theatregay(tm): okay listen. i love roger but if it was rio or jail time, IM GOING TO RIO  
kingofbway: STILL!!!  
theatregay(tm): just CONSIDER IT,,   
kingofbway: FINE  
kingofbway: but its PROBABLY a no until further notice  
theatregay(tm): YAY!!! GET YOU A MANS!!!!  
kingofbway: I ALREADY HAVE ME A MANS  
theatregay(tm): THEN TAKE THE NEXT STEP  
kingofbway: GOODNIGHT WE ARENT DISCUSSING THIS FURTHER >:(((  
theatregay(tm): goodnight! :) ill tell roger you said goodnight too because im nice like that  
kingofbway: arent you just a sweetheart. im forever in your debt  
theatregay(tm): i know! you are!  
kingofbway: im telling leo youre harassing me  
theatregay(tm): you really think he'd believe that?  
kingofbway: .  
kingofbway: goodnight dickwad. for REAL this time  
theatregay(tm): goodnight! <3


	7. Leo Returns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leo isn't too happy about what the group discussed while he was injured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short
> 
> stpthewrld - leo  
> kingofbway - max  
> ulla!!! - ulla  
> #1director - roger

6 AM

stpthewrld: WHY WERE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT AMPUTATING MY ANKLE??? EXCUSE ME???  
kingofbway: yay, leo's back!  
stpthewrld: thank you max  
stpthewrld: if i could get up out of the bed id be beating the crap out of you right now  
kingofbway: why??? i got you to the hospital!!  
stpthewrld: YOURE THE REASON I HAD TO GO THE HOSPITAL IN THE FIRST PLACE  
kingofbway: ohh cmoooon,,, thats behind us!!  
stpthewrld: you arent the one stuck in a cast  
ulla!!!: I'm in the cast for our show! XD (I thought that would made you laugh :D)  
stpthewrld: this is why i shouldve stayed with ulla shes a comedy queen  
#1director: leo how are you even ATTRACTED to max hes. well. yknow.  
kingofbway: because im spectacular!!  
stpthewrld: you know what roger?? i dont even think i can answer that question!!  
kingofbway: HEY!!!! you know you love me!!  
kingofbway: whos my favorite producer??  
stpthewrld: yourself??  
kingofbway: ,,second favorite!!!!  
#1director: dont you dare  
stpthewrld: i am !!!!  
stpthewrld: .  
stpthewrld: okay now i see why im attracted to him  
#1director: leo youre literally a kicked puppy oh my god  
stpthewrld: yeah and max was the one to kick me  
stpthewrld: repeatedly  
stpthewrld: every day of my life  
kingofbway: ARE YOU SUGGESTING I ABUSE ANIMALS?? >:O  
stpthewrld: YOU HURT ME,,, EMOTIONALLY,,,,,,,  
kingofbway: NO I DONT!!!!! YOURE GONNA MAKE THEM CALL THE POLICE OH MY GOD  
stpthewrld: you sound as worried as i feel on the daily. welcome to my life  
kingofbway: gee your life sucks  
stpthewrld: wow thanks


	8. Finally Fulfilling The Tags

9 PM

ulla!!!: Hey!! :)))  
stpthewrld: three smiley faces?? youre in a good mood!!  
ulla!!!: I guess you could say that :)  
stpthewrld: what have you been up to, then?  
ulla!!!: Oh, nothing..  
ulla!!!: I JUST WENT ON A DATE!!!  
stpthewrld: ULLA NO WAY  
ulla!!!: YES WAY!!!  
stpthewrld: THATS MY GIRL WHATS THEIR NAME  
ulla!!!: Rachel!  
stpthewrld: POP OFF I LOVE THAT FOR YOU????

stpthewrld: how was the date spill the details PLEASE  
ulla!!!: We hung out at her home for a while, then I left  
stpthewrld: awww thats so sweet  
kingofbway: no offense but that sounds Very boring.  
ulla!!!: Why? :(  
kingofbway: you didn't even go out! at least tell me you kissed  
ulla!!!: It was our first date?  
kingofbway: still!  
stpthewrld: oh, come on, max, some people like to take things slow! we did!  
stpthewrld: ulla, she sounds great  
kingofbway: we went SLOW??  
stpthewrld: yes? you didnt even try to kiss me until we got out of prison. thats pretty slow  
kingofbway: leo we LIVED TOGETHER within two weeks of our first meeting  
stpthewrld: we had to, we were coworkers!  
kingofbway: oh so that means you lived with mr marks?  
stpthewrld: touché  
stpthewrld: well this isnt about US, its about ullas date!! im very proud of you! can we meet her sometime?  
ulla!!!: Yes! She is coming over tomorrow afternoon, you can stop by then. :)  
stpthewrld: great!  
kingofbway: isn't that a bit weird? having your best friends meet your potential partner at the second date?  
stpthewrld: you introduced me to roger and carmen pretty early and you like them  
kingofbway: that's a BOLD assumption

#1director: what's that supposed to mean???  
kingofbway: well i have closer friends  
#1director: name three.  
kingofbway: uhhh  
kingofbway: leo, ulla, and  
kingofbway: and  
kingofbway has left the chat  
#1director: HE'S AVOIDING THE QUESTION  
#1director: but leos right, have fun with your date ulla. i am ETERNALLY grateful we don't have to deal with two cishets i physically dont think i could handle it any longer than i have to during rehearsal  
stpthewrld: imagine having to help run rehearsal  
#1director: you can do more than imagine  
stpthewrld: ,,you know what im not even complaining gives me something to do ill be there in a few minutes


	9. A Wonderful Christmas Time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang recalls some of their "fondest" childhood memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #1director - roger  
> kingofbway - max  
> stpthewrld - leo  
> theatregay(tm) - carmen

1 PM

#1director: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
kingofbway: it's not even christmas eve yet?  
#1director: why do you ruin everything joyful in my life  
kingofbway: it's my specialty 😏  
stpthewrld: oh, dont worry, roger. max has been a scrooge all month  
kingofbway: I'M NOT BEING A SCROOGE . I'M JUST. .  
kingofbway: .  
stpthewrld: go on, max  
kingofbway: ok so maybe i'm SORT OF a scrooge.  
#1director: haven't you no sense of WONDER for the holiday season?  
kingofbway: shouldn't we wait til it's actually CHRISTMAS to get all excited?  
#1director: you must have been one boring child  
kingofbway: roger my family didn't celebrate christmas  
#1director: well i know THAT but weren't you excited for your PEERS?  
kingofbway: i literally could not care less about those schmucks   
stpthewrld: and those schmucks couldnt care less about me. but i still had FUN with them. heck, the winter season was the only time they ever acknowledged my presence! i used to get in these snowball fights except instead of losing and laughing about it i would lose and then be shoved into a snowbank until i couldnt escape  
theatregay(tm): every time you tell another childhood story i come closer to realizing just how depressing you were.  
#1director: carmen darling when you were a child your closest friend was a snowman you hardly have room to judge  
theatregay(tm): oh you really want to go there?  
#1director: when you were in third grade, you had one of the leads in your school's production of santa goes green. while you were delivering one of your lines one of the lights crushed a set piece behind you and twisted a student's ankle. but the student CONTINUED to perform and they were regarded as the best performer for the rest of the play's run. to get attention you purposefully broke your leg and then were unable to perform because the injury was too severe. you still haven't lived it down.  
theatregay(tm): i  
kingofbway: haha reminds me of that time that .  
stpthewrld: dont be shy max finish the sentence  
kingofbway: . roger was it ever found out how the light ended up falling  
#1director: yes the rope was cut.   
kingofbway: um  
kingofbway: roger  
kingofbway: are you anywhere near my house at the moment  
#1director: why would i be? there's a snowstorm outside, max, i wouldn't POSSIBLY risk injuring myself to visit you  
kingofbway: good okay   
kingofbway: so you go by a new last name now right  
#1director: ... yes. why??  
kingofbway: because  
kingofbway: as a kid  
kingofbway: i tried ruining this show with a few "friends" by cutting one of the lights which we thought was above the lead's head  
kingofbway: it wasn't  
kingofbway: and what i'm trying to get at is  
kingofbway: i think i'm the kid that ruined your show .

#1director is offline!

kingofbway: well fuck  
stpthewrld: happy holidays !!  
kingofbway: NOT NOW LEO

**Author's Note:**

> its only going downhill from here!


End file.
